Jane Gallagher

January 30, 2010 by ivanyeow

Just read this book again. And the thing about this is that every time I read it, I get different insights from this. One of my takeaways: Jane Gallagher

“She was a funny girl, old Jane. I wouldn’t exactly describe her as beautiful. She knocked me out, though. She was sort of muckle-mouthed. I mean when she was talking and she got excited about something, her mouth sort of went in about fifty directions, her lips and all. That killed me. And she never really closed it all the way her mouth… She was always reading, and she read very good books. She read a lot of poetry and all. She was the only one, outside my family, that I ever showed Allie’s baseball mitt to, with all of the poems written on it.”

“… she was terrific to hold hands with. Most girls, if you hold hands with them, their goddam hand dies on you, or else they think they have to keep moving their hands all the time, as if they were afraid they’d bore you or something. Jane was different. We’d get into a goddam movie or something, and right away we’d start holding hands, and we won’t quite till the movie was over. And without changing the position or making a deal out of it. You never even worried, with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were happy. You really were. “

Jane represents a person who was a perfect, innocent crush for Holden. She, like Allie, did odd things because of guileless, innocent motives. In checkers, she would keep her kings in the back row, not because of strategy or vanity, but because she thought it was cute. She thought they looked good lined up back there and that was more important to her than winning a checker game. Jane was vulnerable. Holden implies that her father was abusive in some way. The tension between Jane and her father reaches a climax on the porch when Jane soundlessly cries. Holden responds to this vulnerability by taking her in his arms and kissing her in a pure and loving fashion. This is a person who has a special place in Holden’s life. And now she is going out with Ward Stradlater.

Another quote that I like.

“This fall I think you’re riding for – it’s a special kind of fall, a horrible kind.  The man falling isn’t permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom.  He just keeps falling and falling.  The whole arrangement’s designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn’t supply them with.  Or they thought their own environment couldn’t supply them with.  So they gave up looking.  They gave it up before they ever really even got started.”

-J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 24, spoken by the character Mr. Antolini

On turning 21.

January 17, 2010 by ivanyeow

Child

“Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex.

Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut.

The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?

And we couldn’t wait to grow up”.

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart…

January 3, 2010 by ivanyeow

The waking up is the hardest part.

And you can have it all, my empire of dirt

December 26, 2009 by ivanyeow

This was Johnny Cash’s epitaph. What will be yours? will you even have one?

Will you live a life of luxury to fill emptiness inside of you? Will you be happy or just content? Will you say that you’ve lived your life with no regrets over what could have been or should have been?

I don’t know.

But on a random note, there’s a couple of funny nice famous last words

Claudel, Paul (1868-1955) “Doctor, do you think it could have been the sausage?

Eastman, George (1854-1932) “My work is done, why wait?” (His suicide note.)

Keynes, John Maynard (1883-1946) “I wish I’d drunk more champagne.

Louis XIV (1638-1715) “Why are you weeping? Did you imagine that I was immortal?” (Noticing as he lay on his deathbed that his attendants were crying.)

Marx, Karl (1818-1883) “Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.

Rodgers, James W. ( -1960) [American criminal] “Why yes, a bulletproof vest!” (On his final request before the firing squad.)

Villa, Francisco `Pancho’ (1878-1923) “Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.”

My personal favourite:

Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’!

  • Who: James French.
  • Notes: French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution.

 

What will be yours?

If I was a sculptor, but then again no..

October 25, 2009 by ivanyeow

Please let this not be true. Please.

October 10, 2009 by ivanyeow

Mindless banter with myself

October 3, 2009 by ivanyeow

doesn’t seem very fun at all.

Please give me the confidence to see this through. Thanks.

Livin’ just to find emotion…

July 26, 2009 by ivanyeow

When we were young (like in kids young), whenever our parent/teacher/whoeverwhocanread read to us our favourite stories, we’ll ask them to read it over and over again despite us already knowing the ending of the big bad wolf being killed by little red riding hood’s father.

We watch the harry potter movies knowing the dumbledore will die in the 6th installment after reading the books but we pay the $9.50 on weekends to watch the movie anyway.

We all know the Wizard of Oz is a fluke hiding his flaws and his sorry self behind a facade, but we enjoy this story of adventure and mystery.

We all know that Charles Kingshaw will die and say “fuck to you” to Edmund Hooper in page 100++ of “King of the Castle” but we analyse the novel like no tomorrow, taking notice of every little single detail in his thoughts and actions.

I watched “My Blueberry Nights” 6 times (twice in Bangkok, mind you).

 

You see, very often we know the ending of a story we know the consequences of some of our actions but we still carry on with the activity. It is said that the process is more important than the product of our journeys.

I say it’s the emotional factor of these things we do; a message can be repeated a hundred times, a story/movie/song can be read/played/listened to a thousand times, a mistake can be repeated countless times but each time we do that something we get a different emotion albeit the same result.

That’s human nature for me: that is when we are suckers for something, we are really suckers.

These emotions we feel are so powerful, so overwhelming that it renders the inevitable endings negligible.

And THAT is why I don’t care about endings, happy or otherwise, as long as the process is one filled with meaning, lessons and lots of emotions.

Call me a sucker now.

I know I should be sleeping…

July 4, 2009 by ivanyeow

but I guess I feel like rambling cause it’s been a while since I’ve done so.

I’ve entered a state of equilibrium (I think this is the right word) since NS started. My life has come to a stand still.

I have no time for things and things have no time for me anymore. I want to have more time for things and things to have more time for me. But it’s best that when I have time for things, in that same timeslot, things will be free for me. 

It’s okay if you don’t know what I mean, cause we both know that things will be fine, with or without me.

Yes, that’s how bloody insignificant I am.

 

To sum up this blog post, I’ve only one thing t(w)o say, (three words four you.. hahaha): Richard of york gave battle in vain.

 

And here’s two of the best songs ever. Combined into one. It’s like value-packed. Enjoy the sales promotion, guys.

Comfortable…

April 16, 2009 by ivanyeow

 

Been feeling irritable. Like something’s not right with my life. Like I’m feeling empty inside (with the exemption of nicotine and whatever)

 

Might be the pending NS letter which hasn’t been here yet.

Might be the fact that I’m still pissed I screwed up my elective sem.

Might be something else.

 

Maybe it’s because I have no direction in my life right now, so many choices but I don’t want to make any right now. Am in no shape nor condition to do so.

 

I believe they have a word for this…. what exactly is it?