The man without a plan

My life has been pretty eventful of late.

Other than the fact that I have been going on drinking binges and meeting up with random people whom’s name I just randomly scroll to in my phonebook, I have been doing my internship.

Yes, I may whine and complain to a few of my friends regarding my internship. About how I am made to do brainless work and am the bottom of the food chain in the office.

However, this experience at the company that I’m attached to made me “find myself” (literal translation from the chinese phrase “找自己“ which basically means do some “soul searching”).

I pride myself on being someone with a plan, (well at least for the next 5 years of my life).

When my results for the past semester came, I realised that I didn’t really have plan for the next 5 years at all. I’m like a lost teenager finding my way through life.

In the words of Kakashi (masked guy from naruto): I lost my way on the road of life.

Do I really want to work in advertising? or I have been psycho-ing myself so much that I don’t really know what I want anymore?

Some people say, do something you enjoy, and it will not feel like working. Dude, I say, do that something you love everyday and you will not enjoy it anymore.

This is one of the long posts that don’t make sense. Pretty much like the random stuff that ruiming pits me against in “Ivan or”.

However, instead of Ivan or, this is Ivan AGAINST world. Not making sense I know.

You see, I have friends that have found love in what they do. Stanley enjoys mugging and is on his way to becoming the next prime minister of singapore. Ruiming enjoys writing and being weird and he has found his way in journalism.

I don’t know what I can do. I love music, I love films, I love a good story. I love plotlines. Like all teenagers do. But I think that being a copywriter/andthuscreativedirectorlater might be the best career path that I could take (as compared to my original one of being a film director).

And here I am in an agency doing my internship in “accounts servicing”. Not complaining, but I wished I could be so much more involved in shaping campaigns. Have to say this, my favourite part of my job scope is assisting the planners, only then I feel my input is really appreciated.

What’s my point? I don’t know. I really don’t. Just that I feel so fucked suddenly now that I don’t know if I’m even going to do university/Miami ad school/whatever. I don’t have a plan anymore.

But I believe, I believe that somehow, someday, I’ll live the life I wanna live.

Someday.

Tags: Yes this post is about me.