And you can have it all, my empire of dirt

This was Johnny Cash’s epitaph. What will be yours? will you even have one?

Will you live a life of luxury to fill emptiness inside of you? Will you be happy or just content? Will you say that you’ve lived your life with no regrets over what could have been or should have been?

I don’t know.

But on a random note, there’s a couple of funny nice famous last words

Claudel, Paul (1868-1955) “Doctor, do you think it could have been the sausage?

Eastman, George (1854-1932) “My work is done, why wait?” (His suicide note.)

Keynes, John Maynard (1883-1946) “I wish I’d drunk more champagne.

Louis XIV (1638-1715) “Why are you weeping? Did you imagine that I was immortal?” (Noticing as he lay on his deathbed that his attendants were crying.)

Marx, Karl (1818-1883) “Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.

Rodgers, James W. ( -1960) [American criminal] “Why yes, a bulletproof vest!” (On his final request before the firing squad.)

Villa, Francisco `Pancho’ (1878-1923) “Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.”

My personal favourite:

Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’!

• Who: James French.
• Notes: French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution.

 

What will be yours?

If I was a sculptor, but then again no..

Please let this not be true. Please.

11216.) I want someone to say I love you. not the fake kind you say to your 3 month 10th grade girlfriend, but the kind that you say when you’re falling asleep in each others arms after along day, no sex, just being close and feeling close. That’s the kind i want. the kind that’s whispered in the night, when no one can hear.

Mindless banter with myself

doesn’t seem very fun at all.

Please give me the confidence to see this through. Thanks.

Livin’ just to find emotion…

When we were young (like in kids young), whenever our parent/teacher/whoeverwhocanread read to us our favourite stories, we’ll ask them to read it over and over again despite us already knowing the ending of the big bad wolf being killed by little red riding hood’s father.

We watch the harry potter movies knowing the dumbledore will die in the 6th installment after reading the books but we pay the $9.50 on weekends to watch the movie anyway.

We all know the Wizard of Oz is a fluke hiding his flaws and his sorry self behind a facade, but we enjoy this story of adventure and mystery.

We all know that Charles Kingshaw will die and say “fuck to you” to Edmund Hooper in page 100++ of “King of the Castle” but we analyse the novel like no tomorrow, taking notice of every little single detail in his thoughts and actions.

I watched “My Blueberry Nights” 6 times (twice in Bangkok, mind you).

 

You see, very often we know the ending of a story we know the consequences of some of our actions but we still carry on with the activity. It is said that the process is more important than the product of our journeys.

I say it’s the emotional factor of these things we do; a message can be repeated a hundred times, a story/movie/song can be read/played/listened to a thousand times, a mistake can be repeated countless times but each time we do that something we get a different emotion albeit the same result.

That’s human nature for me: that is when we are suckers for something, we are really suckers.

These emotions we feel are so powerful, so overwhelming that it renders the inevitable endings negligible.

And THAT is why I don’t care about endings, happy or otherwise, as long as the process is one filled with meaning, lessons and lots of emotions.

Call me a sucker now.

I know I should be sleeping…

but I guess I feel like rambling cause it’s been a while since I’ve done so.

I’ve entered a state of equilibrium (I think this is the right word) since NS started. My life has come to a stand still.

I have no time for things and things have no time for me anymore. I want to have more time for things and things to have more time for me. But it’s best that when I have time for things, in that same timeslot, things will be free for me. 

It’s okay if you don’t know what I mean, cause we both know that things will be fine, with or without me.

Yes, that’s how bloody insignificant I am.

 

To sum up this blog post, I’ve only one thing t(w)o say, (three words four you.. hahaha): Richard of york gave battle in vain.

 

And here’s two of the best songs ever. Combined into one. It’s like value-packed. Enjoy the sales promotion, guys.

Comfortable…

 

Been feeling irritable. Like something’s not right with my life. Like I’m feeling empty inside (with the exemption of nicotine and whatever)

 

Might be the pending NS letter which hasn’t been here yet.

Might be the fact that I’m still pissed I screwed up my elective sem.

Might be something else.

 

Maybe it’s because I have no direction in my life right now, so many choices but I don’t want to make any right now. Am in no shape nor condition to do so.

 

I believe they have a word for this…. what exactly is it?

Protected: For you..

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Inter-species Porn.

has a whole new dimension to it. Thanks to Lim Ppei.

I’m feeling like it today…

Hurt & Loss. These two things are similar, like Hoes and Boats.

You see, because you’ve been hurt or because you’ve lost something, you become afraid to try or even hope (yes, I’ve used “you” 4 times in this sorry excuse for a sentence – shoot me).

You think, “no way in hell am I going back there again, no way I wanna be that fucked up again”. 

You get locked up in your hellhole; you pushed everyone/someone/everything away from you; you get a distraction (i.e. playing LAN, starting to smoke, clubbing, drinking, having sex every night etc) to occupy your mind.

And then one day, you get weak or adventurous (very extreme I know) and you say, “hey let’s give it a try again” and next thing you know, you’re falling at terminal velocity again (don’t know if that actually makes sense).

And when you hit the bottom, you scream in pain thinking why the fuck did you take the leap (My favourite quote in Hitch explains it all: because that’s what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because otherwise you just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the *hell* did I jump? But here I am, Sarah, falling, and the only one that makes me feel like I can fly… is you. )

And I guess that’s it. It’s the promise of flight that entices you, spurs you on to do the unthinkable. Thus, my advice to you and myself is that don’t stop believing in whatever and do the right thing.

And to end this post that does not make sense (with more emphasize on what goes on in the brackets instead), here’s Journey with Don’t Stop Believin’.

Piss Peace, Brother.